An image that inspires me, can see in the dark; places where insight can be hidden from immediate view. As a spirit animal, the owl can guide you to see
beyond the veil of illusion and deception; it helps one to see what has been kept
hidden. An owl also symbolizes the ability to cut through illusions and see
the real meaning of someone’s state of mind or actions. Moreover, the owl also asks as a guide to uncover your hidden potential and abilities. It fits my MFT role and suits the change that I have begun now; working as a professional in the field of Marriage and Family Therapy.
In my short existence,
I have conquered many quests, from my educational endeavors to some of my
greatest developmental milestones. Yet,
none truly compares to the moments when you are lucky enough to capture your
inner warrior. The drive that keeps you
going, no matter how much you want to quit and give up on yourself, you don’t
give in. It’s the culmination of those
sorts of moments when you find yourself braving the storm that you begin to
wake up. The person that you once saw in
the mirror is gone, yet, the new you is a welcomed improvement. It’s as if every moment before has prepared
you for where you are today; prepared.
You are suddenly ready for any and every thing that should come your
way.
At this stage in my life, my mind is on point, my body is
strong, and my spirit cannot be broken!
Of course I am but a woman and although it pains me to even admit it,
even I come with limitations. I say that
only because I just had a taste of my own fragile immortality. Yes, it is true; I am not invincible, but
mortal just as you are. I am made of flesh
and bone, fragile and equally susceptible to any one of life’s setbacks. I used to love boasting about how well I
worked under pressure; burn the candle at both ends, I would usually joke. Yet, somehow now I am feeling the bittersweet
taste of defeat.
Where I am today in my life? I am content; a hectic schedule no longer
suits me. I can recall a time when I
used to be excessive with how much I took on.
Now today, taking two classes at once has proven to be quite overwhelming.
Even with the staggering approach, I find myself having a difficult time
keeping up with deadlines. I feel
imbalanced and I do not want to skimp in one area of life just to
overcompensate in another. Truly, I would like to give myself equally in all
areas, if that makes sense. It is as if, my life has finally slowed its pace
and I no longer desire to bite off more than I can chew.
When it comes to my education, time is of the
essence. Why rush perfection? I would
rather be really dedicated in one course than struggling to breathe while in
two. I hadn’t anticipated how intense
the demands of a PhD program would be on my cognitive functions. But I am okay; I can honestly admit that at
the present moment I am doing fine. I am
still capable of completing the task. The only difference lies within my
capacity to achieve greater effectiveness and further efficiency of my efforts
toward completion. I am in it to
understand more about family systems.
I believe that some of our earliest experiences and
interactions, with those we are either related to or grow up being raised as a
family unit by, stand to make or break us.
It makes me wonder how some family systems can debilitate, while others
further enhance development. Systems
theory puts the reciprocal nature of family patterns best when it mentions
recursion. We are all ultimately
influenced by and in turn mutually influence those we are closest to. Brings up the notion of how a family system
operates, in that people can make people sick, while for others, wellness can
be promoted. Although a family can often
exemplify that of a dysfunctional system, an MFT has to remember to be mindful
of the family’s cultural diversity.
What may be different and rather problematic to some may
also be a characteristic of that particular family’s culture. A professional MFT is going to want to
consider such differences in diversity and stray away from pathogizing cultural
norms. More so, it would be
counterproductive to attempt to change a family dynamic that an MFT believes to
be one which needs to be fixed.
Regardless, of whether or not the family is not bothered or affected by
the MFT’s own clinical interpretation. Therefore,
it is vital for a therapist not to interpret or assume anything when it comes
to a client’s own experience.
Fortunately, the profession comes with standards that any professional
should consider. Ethics are what guide
the MFT profession, Primum non nocere; first do no harm.
When a therapist wants change more or even attempts to
work harder than the client, then harm is likely to occur. The journey of change becomes that of the
client, couple, and/or family. An
ethical MFT professional does not impose their values or beliefs on those they
intend to help. Further, when a
professional MFT is presented with a client, couple, or family that begins to
bring up countertransference issues or a conflict of interest presents itself,
then be wise enough to seek consultation on the matter. In the end, if you feel so strongly about
something that just the thought of working with your client ignites something
negative in you, then be wise enough to follow your gut instinct and refer your
client to another therapist.
When your clinical judgment is clouded or skewed your
interventions can benefit no one. I firmly
believe that true growth comes from moments when you are outside of your
comfort zone. However, when being out of
your comfort zone begins to harm another, the potential for personal growth
begins to diminish. I originally embarked upon this journey in an effort to
work on myself as a clinician. I felt
that by working on my doctorate, I could learn more about how different
populations, that I may be presented with and intend to help, transmit patterns. I wanted to nurture my professional side and
further promote my understanding of how others, as individuals and collectively
as a family unit, operate.
Educating me and acquiring new knowledge is what
initially adds to my journey of self-fulfillment. Learning is my greatest attempt at completing
who I am as a blossoming MFT in the field of human nature and psychology. It makes perfect sense that in order to understand
others better; one must first be willing and open in understanding themselves. To brave the interworking of your own mind; incredibly
scary and thrilling all wrapped up together! I say ask as many questions as
possible, seek possible answers, and most importantly critically think! Fear not what you do not know, be open minded
and optimistic about reasons behind resistance to change. Support and acceptance are two tools that can
help any MFT not only be okay with themselves, but also begin to build rapport
with the very clients a clinician seeks to aid while on their journey of
self-discovery.
Lastly, remember that when the field changes, as it so
often does and you are no longer amiable to change with it, then the MFT field
no longer serves a purpose for you. When
you begin to experience bitterness in that which you do as a profession, you
are no longer able to offer others the value of therapy and must make a
conscious choice to change careers; move on.
I love what I do and I am enthralled with all the enjoyment that is
derived from learning about others; it only adds to the guidance that I am to
provide them with. I can only hope to
guide others toward greater insight so that they can decide what gives their
lives meaning, as I have found what gives my life meaning. The best directive I could possible give to an aspiring professional would be to find what you love to do, that which represents
the core of who you are and well, run with it!
